As I prepared to get in my car and drive to visit my mom, alone, Saturday morning, I felt sick. I felt anxious. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to endure another goodbye. Walking into my parents house, it was quiet. My dad was outside working in the yard and my mom wasn’t…Continue reading Sleeping Beauty or Helpless Beauty

I feel like I am in a never ending game of whack-a-mole, but I’m not the one holding the mallet. Instead, my face is in place of the mole. I’m doing my best to roll with the hits and laugh through the pain and frustration, but it is hard. Each time my head pops up…Continue reading Whack-a-Mole

Today is my birthday. I have not been looking forward to this day. My breath is taken as I think about the reality that this is my last birthday with my mom here on this side of heaven. I find myself with similar feelings I had as the new year approached. My 37th year of…Continue reading My Birthday

It’s coming. It’s drawing near. My breath is taken. My stomach is turning. My eyes overflowing with tears. My heart is breaking. Fear is standing oh so close to me but I choose to turn my back and fix my gaze on my Father. I am weak but He is strong. As I drove to my parent’s…Continue reading Pressing into the Hard

My little man, my warrior, my lover boy, developed a new favorite activity that he loves to do with his mommy. Sit. He will pull my hand and say, ‘Mommy, I want to sit.’ There are some days that I want to tell him no, mommy can’t sit right now, but oh how I know…Continue reading Choosing to Sit

In this moment I have joy. In this moment I have peace. In this moment I feel loved. My life is filled with innumerable moments. The truth? My moments are not all sunshine and roses. The past two weeks many of my moments were filled with feelings of loneliness. When it was determined my mom’s treatment was…Continue reading Moment by Moment

Last weekend I was diagnosed with shingles. I was embarrassed. I felt old. I felt yucky. I felt like a disease. Lying in bed one evening I was reaching for my Father, asking Him why I was feeling blah. Not feeling awesome about myself. I began to realize how this label of having shingles had…Continue reading Labels

This past week and half has felt like an uphill battle, dodging the rocks of the enemy being thrown my way . . . shame, guilt, defeat, unworthy, unlovable. It was hard. Oh how it was hard. But I was not alone.  My Father was by my side gently whispering the truth of who I am…Continue reading Wisdom

Sitting at the dinner table Monday night, I have my oldest daughter with attitude written all over her face because she was disciplined for being disrespectful. My middle daughter is crying and throwing a tantrum because she doesn’t want to eat her dinner. My youngest boy is screaming because he is tired from not napping that afternoon and…Continue reading Not Every Day is Awesome

I’ve found my heart heavy with emotions this week. Calling my mom to see how chemo went and how she is feeling, is something I never imagined having to do. I want to be able to call my mom like I used to, just to say hi.  I rejoice with the news that my mom’s tumor…Continue reading Choices on this Journey