With the ever-changing flow of my kids being in school and out of school. With the nature of life having its highs and its lows. Making time to be alone with God, to connect with Him, and to bring my questions to Him, has been a struggle.
But one beautiful morning recently, the margin presented itself and the questions were many.
As soft music played in the background, I got comfy in my favorite chair. The sun poured in through the bedroom window. I closed my eyes, walked through a door, and into an exquisite garden filled with vibrant colors.
Standing there waiting for me was my Father. My Papa. My rescuer. I ran to Him. His strong arms embracing me as He twirled me around. I was enveloped in a peace that I felt deep in the core of my being.
We began to walk together down a long dirt road, each holding the paw of a tiny stuffed tiger that hung down between us. Tall, beautiful pine trees filled the landscape around us.
I felt myself internally rolling through my list of questions. And yet I couldn’t bring myself to ask them. Not out of fear. I simply didn’t want this moment to end.
I just wanted to be with my Father. To be His daughter. To be seen. To be cherished. To be delighted in.
The tears began to roll down my cheeks. And as the tears fell, I began to feel lighter. Which seemed odd to me. I wasn’t accomplishing anything. Nothing was getting checked off my list. There was nothing I could show to account for this time.
As I paused, I felt my Father gently whisper to me . . .
‘You can’t hold me and hold your “stuff” at the same time . . . but I can.’
What a beautiful invitation. To let go of the hold so that I may be held.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the permission to come to You as I am. For the permission to BE with no shame and no judgement.
Thank You that in the midst of my striving to take care of everyone and everything, You gently and oh so kindly remind me that my worth is not tied to the culture’s measuring stick of perfection, performance and productivity.
And thank You, that You never tire of reminding me of this truth.
My worth is found in You. Always. Forever. In Your Arms.