With the New Year around the corner, you read of people making resolutions or choosing a word or theme for their year. This has never been something I’ve chosen to do, but as I’ve walked through these first holidays without my mom, and as I approach the last days of what has been the most painful year of my life, I have felt a word rising up in my heart . . . Hope.
At this time last year, I was not looking forward to the new year. I was not looking forward to the year I would say I lost my mom. As I have stumbled, crawled, limped and clawed my way through the journey and moments of 2016, I stand at the line that reads 2017 with a much different feeling in my heart than I had a year ago. While many of the moments that have filled this year have been painful and traumatic, I see the hand of a loving Father showing me the seed of hope in each of them. My moments, whether good or bad, do not determine or impact my hope. Hope remains in all circumstances. Hope remains in the bad mommy moments. Hope remains in the superwoman moments. Hope remains in the grumpy moments. Hope remains in the joy filled moments. Hope remains because of a Father who is ever present, He is never changing or faltering. Hope remains because of a Father who loves us unconditionally. Hope remains because He is our hope.
To hope takes courage. It takes vulnerability. It takes a choice to let go of fear and control. Hope is an internal feeling of belief, desire and trust. Hope comes from a place in our heart that when brought into the light, can loosen the fibers that hold agreements, anger, pain, bitterness and resentment. It can wash away the fear and lies and allow us to be flooded with a peace that surpasses all understanding. As I enter the New Year, I enter with Hope. Not a hope in everything being awesome. Not a hope in not struggling or suffering. A Hope in knowing that whatever awaits me, I will not be alone. A hope in knowing that whatever the year holds for me, there will be life, there will be love, there will be joy and there will be freedom.
Hebrews 6:18-20 The Message
We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.