Today is my birthday. I have not been looking forward to this day. My breath is taken as I think about the reality that this is my last birthday with my mom here on this side of heaven. I find myself with similar feelings I had as the new year approached. My 37th year of life will be the year I lose my mom. If I don’t celebrate my birthday, I won’t have to face the reality. Right? How do I celebrate my life, when my mom is losing hers? And then, Jesus. I hear the voice of my Father sweetly whisper in my ear, Robin, she is not losing her life. Her life is only just about to begin.
I close my eyes and let the truth of that statement soak in. Her life is only just about to begin. I allow myself to imagine how incredibly glorious the day will be when my mom sees the face of Jesus. When she is embraced by her creator and she sees for the first time, the pieces of the larger story that now form a spectacular and breath taking picture. A view only the Father could create. And in that larger story, is me. The joyful surprise. Yes, Jesus. Yes, Father. Yes, Holy Spirit. I’m worth celebrating.
In what will be my mom’s last birthday card to me, she wrote these precious and beautiful words:
‘Happy Birthday to my sweet Mother’s Day girl. What a joy to bring you into the world on such an important day. Words cannot capture the pride and love I have for you and all that you’ve accomplished. Thanks for making my life so fulfilling. Carry on in all you do with such enthusiasm and your contagious smiles that meet the hearts of many.’
While my heart continues to grieve for my mom, my heart is also overflowing with immense love from my Father, from my family, and from my friends. The gift of being seen. The gift of being chosen. The gift of being fiercely loved. These are priceless gifts. And they are gifts bestowed on the Father’s favorites. And I’m one of them. I will admit that it is hard to write those words and allow their truth and power to sink in, but I choose to press past the uncomfortable and press in to the presence of my Father. I am a daughter of the King.
Not every moment is beautiful. Not every day is awesome. But today, in this moment, my cup has been filled to overflowing with joy, love, laughter and immense beauty. It is my hope, my dream, my desire, that in my 37th year of life, I will honor the words of my mom. I will carry on this journey my Father has for me with enthusiasm and with a smile that will meet the hearts of many. I will continue to partner with my Father as we write in both the hard and joy filled moments and pray our words would fall on the soils of those who need them. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
Psalm 16:11 Message
You make the path of life known to me. Complete joy is in your presence. Pleasures are by your side forever.