My name is Robin and I am a neat freak. I like things to be tidy and in order. I like to invite people into my home and make them feel welcome . . . and yes deep down I hope they will compliment me on my cleanliness and organization. Forget the yelling and/or screaming that may have ensued the previous 24 hours prior to guests arriving, as I strived to keep my house clean with three kids and a husband. They will be impressed because I have it all together. Just look in my junk drawer that I had to straighten up just in case I needed to get something from this drawer and someone were to look in it. Am I not amazing!?
It is exhausting just thinking about all of the striving and effort I put into impressing people with how I care for my home. One afternoon during my quiet time, my Father gave me a vision of myself standing in a middle of a clean and organized room twirling around in a circle, my arms stretched out wide with a huge smile on my face. I felt my Father saying to me, this is your heart. Really!? I always viewed my desire for cleanliness and organization as a flaw in my character. Is my Father showing me through His eyes, it is actually a gift!?
Just like a home is where many families do life, our heart is what gives us life. Our heart is the largest muscle and the most important organ in our body. A home needs to be maintained and so does our heart. When we take our hurts, our wounds, our feelings and emotions and hide them in boxes, it takes away space that we could live in. While my boxes may not be visible in my home, they are still there . . . just hidden beneath the neatness and order. I have a box that says I am an “oops”, a mistake. I have a box that says I’m not beautiful enough. I have a box that says I’m stupid. I have a box that says I’m not good enough. I have a box that says I have nothing to offer. I have a box that says I’m just a stay at home mom. I have a box that says I don’t deserve my husband. I have a box that says I’m not enough. As I think about these boxes, they slowly create walls around me. I’m paralyzed by these boxes. I’m afraid of these boxes. What if I’m figured out? What if people realize I don’t have it all together? I’m not perfect? While I may be really good at hiding all of my boxes when others come over, I’m also hiding my true self. It’s easy to hide behind these boxes, but our Father wants us to step out from behind the boxes and hand them over to Him. He wants to see our face. He wants to see His beautiful and precious daughter. His masterpiece. His favorite creation. He wants to throw those boxes out and give us space. Give us freedom from the sentences we have been hiding behind. He wants to tear those walls down so our heart can be free to receive His abundant love for us. He wants us to spread our arms out wide and say, yes God! You can have my heart! I trust you! I love you!
When we bring ourselves to our Father and lay at His feet all of the boxes that have piled up, He will carry them away. It doesn’t matter what is in the box. Our Father can handle it. His love for us is far greater than the mountains of boxes we bring to Him. When we allow ourselves to let go of the junk that has been occupying our space and ability to live, we will find a freedom we never knew we could have. Our heart will feel larger than we thought possible. We will be able to spread our arms out wide and twirl! There is greater life, joy, love and freedom in surrendering our heart to our Father.
You may have noticed that I did not use the past tense when I referred to my boxes. When the moving truck rolled up to take away my boxes the day I surrendered my heart to my Father, I didn’t realize it was possible I would see them again. I thought I was a failure. I thought I blew it . . . again. Then I was reminded of the snake. The enemy who hates my Father and His moving company. He will do anything to see those boxes make their way back into my home and into my heart. So what are we to do? Call the moving company and hand them back over to our Father. Daily maintenance of our heart is necessary to continue to walk in freedom. We need to be aware of what we allow into our home and into our heart. We know that cleaning our home once is not the last time it will need to be cleaned . . . although that would be awesome! We need to be in the word. We need to be alone with our Father. We need to remember what is true . . . we are beautiful and fiercely loved daughters of the King!
Proverbs 4:23 GW
Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it.