One of my favorite stories from my time as a first grade teacher is the day one of my students asked, “Mrs. Pantusa, what would happen if this room filled up with turtles?” The freedom of his ask. The innocence of his question. The beauty of his curiosity. I want that. Permission to have child…Continue reading What If: Allowing Curiosity to Create Intimacy
The Unspoken Words of Grief
Walking through grief is hard. It’s painful. And often times, it’s lonely. I’ve observed that support after a loss usually comes in the first few days or weeks and then subsides. Those of us who are grieving are told to let others know if we need anything. But the reality is, we don’t know what…Continue reading The Unspoken Words of Grief
Living in the Hard Moments When I Want to Eject
“I’ve wrestled with the immense pressure I feel to navigate my grief and my pain by the culture’s measuring stick. And when the option to bail for days, weeks or even a month, is not a viable option for me, it creates a precarious balancing game. On one side I have my kids, my husband…Continue reading Living in the Hard Moments When I Want to Eject
A Tiny Mustard Seed
One month ago today, I lost my dad. And earlier this week was the 5 year anniversary of the loss of my mom. Grief is hard. And while I am aware there is no manual and no one grief story is the same. There is this unspoken pressure I feel. A feeling that there are…Continue reading A Tiny Mustard Seed
A Culture of Comparison
Lately I’ve found myself struggling with my value. With my self-worth. Especially in doing the things I care about most. I would love to be able to say that I am confident in who I am 100% of the time. The reality is, I’m not. There’s this thing I struggle with . . . comparison.…Continue reading A Culture of Comparison
An End of School Letter to My Kids
It was one year ago, I was preparing to enter the carpool lane to do a drive-by pick-up of your school supplies. Of all the things you left behind when you unknowingly walked out the door of your school for the last time just two months prior. And here we are. One year later. Much…Continue reading An End of School Letter to My Kids
Chosen
Mom. A word that can spark a wide spectrum of emotions depending on your story. And while I have my own story and my own experience of mom, I want to offer a perspective that I believe brings truth. Brings life. And brings hope. For all of us. Whether our mom cried tears of joy…Continue reading Chosen
Letting Go of the Hold So that I Can Be Held
With the ever-changing flow of my kids being in school and out of school. With the nature of life having its highs and its lows. Making time to be alone with God, to connect with Him, and to bring my questions to Him, has been a struggle. But one beautiful morning recently, the margin presented…Continue reading Letting Go of the Hold So that I Can Be Held
A Punching Bag and Boxing Gloves: An Unconventional Relationship
“My first birthday after losing my mom, I asked my husband for a unique birthday present. A punching bag. There was so much emotion that had built up inside of me, I needed a way to release it. I needed a way to unleash the fire that was burning inside me. Thus began my unconventional…Continue reading A Punching Bag and Boxing Gloves: An Unconventional Relationship
An Unfinished Masterpiece
In the stillness and quiet of the early morning hours, I began to ponder what this year will hold. With my eyes closed, the image in my mind was as though I were looking through the lens of a camera, slowly zooming out. The view began to appear smaller and smaller until what I saw…Continue reading An Unfinished Masterpiece